A Beginner’s Guide To BDSM

A Beginner’s Guide To BDSM

With the popularity of the Fifty Shades of Grey films, kink has made its way out of the darkness and into the mainstream. Everyone wants to enjoy the pleasure and pain that comes from Bondage, Discipline, Dominance or Submission – BDSM. The first and most important thing to understand though is that safety and trust are essential! Without total trust in your partner, BDSM can turn into a scary and unpleasant experience that you won’t be wanting to try again, so we’re giving you A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM so you can play safely for ultimate pleasure.

Set Boundaries

Before you go delving into the vast world of BDSM, it’s essential to have an honest conversation with your partner. Discuss anything you already know, things you’d like to try and what you’re hoping to get out of BDSM. Understanding each other’s desires and expectations creates a great foundation for a dom and sub relationship.

Just as important is the need to understand each other’s boundaries. Establish hard and soft limits for each of you. These may change in time, but it’s important you each know what to avoid.

If you’re struggling to start the conversation, Mojo Upgrade is a free site that helps work out what you each do and don’t like. Each of you get a multiple choice survey asking what you like, don’t like, or would be happy to do if your partner wanted to. It then shows you only the things you’re both eager to do, which saves any potential embarrassment. You also get an exciting to-do list! If you’re nervous, answering your quiz in private can make it feel easier to complete honestly.

BDSM really plays on your senses so you can be a lot more aware than you usually would be. A scene or act that you were looking forward to may not play out as expected, leaving you feeling uncomfortable. Consent is key in any dominant and submissive partnership and having a safe word or two lets you both always feel safe.

Have a Safe Word

As your senses are heightened, you may experience discomfort or nervousness. It’s important to have a safe word that will stop all play immediately should you feel uncomfortable. Especially in the early attempts, take things slow and constantly check in with each other. You will learn each other’s limits and learn what gets the best reactions, but taking your time is key.

Your safe word can be anything, but it’s best to choose something distinctive. One great option for beginners is the traffic light system. Green means you’re loving it, Yellow means you should slow down a bit and tread with caution, Red is a straight stop word.

If you’re wearing a gag, or for whatever other reason saying a stop word will be difficult, have a gesture instead. Make sure it will be easily noticed by the dominant. You could shake your hands or your head, or put up a chosen number of fingers so you can call off the action if need be.

Other Tips

  • Ease into bondage with one of our Restraint Kits before you start working with technical knots as they can be difficult to get out of quickly
  • Never leave a bound or gagged partner alone, even for a minute!
  • Use toys and accessories that are made for BDSM play, improvisation is not recommended
  • Learn basic CPR and have a first aid kit available, just in case
  • Once you’re finished each session, embrace your partner and discuss the recent events. Were there things you’d like to experiment with more, or aspects you’d like to avoid. Your BDSM relationship will develop but communication is key.

BDSM Ideas For Beginners

So you’ve seen enough that you know you’re interested, but where do you start? First, think about what excites you. Do you want to be bound, like to be spanked, or do you just want to take the sense of sight away with a blindfold so that your other senses are enhanced?

Whatever it is that you want to experiment with, Naughty Butt Nice offer a range of Bondage Kits that have everything you need to get started. They have a range of BDSM accessories so you can start to experiment. This takes us to our last section, a list of the main bondage gear items.

The Essential Gear

  • Blindfolds should be in everyone’s collection. They remove sight from the submissive, which enhances all of their other senses, especially touch!
£10.99 £8.99
£8.99 £5.99
  • Restraints come in a huge variety including hand and feet restraints, handcuffs, rope, tape or collar & leads. Being bound releases you from being in control, which hands all power to your dom. Will he/she pleasure or punish you?
£29.99 £26.99
£17.99 £14.49
£8.99 £5.99
£36.99 £32.99
£36.99 £32.99
£26.99 £22.49
  • Paddles & Whips are for those who enjoy spanking or being spanked.
    • Paddles have a wider surface area for a slightly softer spank
    • Floggers have a collection of tendrils that provide a soft whip, or you can use them to gently tease your partner by running them over their body
    • Riding Crops provide a sharper and more targeted whip with great sound effects
£9.99 £7.49
£10.99 £6.99
£8.99 £6.49
£12.49 £9.99
£12.99 £9.99
  • Gags can come in a variety of shapes and sizes for a perfect fit. A ball or similarly shaped object goes in the mouth of the sub and is strapped in to keep it in place. Gags can be used to either remove the subs ability to speak or to keep their mouth open.
£17.99 £14.49
£14.99 £12.49
£16.99 £12.99
£16.99 £12.99
£22.99 £18.49
  • Clitoral and Nipple Accessories can enhance your pleasure by pinching your nipples or clitoris, engaging more of your erogenous zones. Some pinchers come with the ability to add weights to increase the pressure for more sensation.
  • Chastity Devices are great for total control and are available for men or women. Usually formed of some kind of metal, chastity devices keep your private bits under lock and key so only your dominant can release you.

 

BDSM can be an exciting world that is full of options if done right. Have trust, communicate and enjoy. Naughty Butt Nice stock a range of bondage gear for adventurers of all levels and we’re always happy to help. If you have any questions or want to know more about any particular items, you can contact us on live chat, phone, social media or email.

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